Frozen Oreo

Amnesia

2011-12-21T08:12:00.000-08:00

I find it remarkable, after perusing the very FEW posts of the last two years, how quickly I forget those moments of perspicuity that I have already written about. Phooey! Seriously, pregnancy is like a fog for me, or looking in a mirror that is particularly dark; my brain on hormones seems like an old vinyl record that lost it's needle and keeps cah-chunking, cah-chunk....now that the baby is out and so is most of my hair, I can move the needle to a song or two.
Thankfully, the palpable vulnerability that all of those hormones wrought really refined some sinful deep dross up to the surface and there was no way I could fight that, although I tried and made a mess of myself. Lots of snot and tear-filled pillows. When all is said and done, I am glad to say I couldn't get away from my bitterness, nor my pride, nor my trying to save myself in religion. Hallelujah, can I get an amen? What is it about sin that causes such a shameful hiding and careful controlling which darkens the thoughts and muddles the mind yet that can all disappear the moment you repent?
And through it all there is an answer to prayer. A deep-seated resting and practical working through of to the HOW to be faithful without being all works righteousness/religion based. And just the reminder that allowing bitterness leads to much confusion. Root it out, mulch the soil, apply the pesticide of prayer with thanksgiving. So exactly what all happened while I was pregnant was simply sin + hormonal cocktail = yeah.

2011-12-13T07:28:00.000-08:00

Hello again, world.
An entire year off for pregnancy.
Now Christmas shopping is breathing down my neck as we try to
a) be thoughtful
b) be fun
c) keep it relatively fair
d) do this for six children and about 20 others.

Meanwhile, I must nurse a very darling fat baby and not get to hauled into his adorable conversation making techniques, keep laundry up enough so that I don't have to make trips to dig through clean piles in the basement, feed the people more than pizza, bake, trim trees, homeschool, call my friend Billie whom I haven't talked to in three months, finish the birth story so we can get the album, STAY MARRIED i.e. listen to and love and respect husband remembering that he is NOT the cause of aforesaid workload, take some pictures of fat baby with all his enamored siblings, remember that I have the gift of forgiveness in Christ and that means it is all OKAY and my inability to execute my itinerary is in no way frustrating my Lord and Saviour.
Next post, the ubiquitous 'Let it go' and parameters around that stretchy fence phrase that everyone who sees your stress tosses at you with wild abandon. Myself included.

Okay then. Updated blog. Check.

Mountain top fun with FIVE!

2011-01-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

on being pregnant....again.

2011-01-05T15:18:00.000-08:00

Two pink lines was not what I was really expecting. A few months ago I implored the Lord to give me some more time before the next baby. I really believed that since I do want more children, and because I am overwhelmed alot, maybe He would give me a rest in between. A little more recuperation. More time to get things in order, to learn, to obey, to sew, to get a better working schedule and meal plan perhaps even a longer shower. Mostly selfish things. Time to fly to see an old friend or my sisters. Time with my kids that isn't sick or braindead or irritable. Conversations with my husband that aren't meltdowns of me being oversensitive and hormonal. More days free of managing my hunger, nausea, exhaustion, emotions and anxious perceptions.
Ahem. Not in His plan.
I confess, I have wept and kicked and fussed. I have sobbed and wondered at His divine timing. I have been angry at my husband and wanted to blame him for not protecting me. I have felt an overwhelming sense of failure and dread. Likely all my planning friends will find this mystifying and appalling. If you didn't want a baby, why didn't you plan better? After Stefan mentioned that we were expecting number six a believing older man inquired, "on purpose?!" Sigh. It seems so very haughty to me to assume that a planned and wanted child is a more faithful choice. It actually sounds alot like the propaganda served up at Planned Parenthood. But I probably sound as haughty with my anti planning propaganda :) Sigh.
All that to say, rather than pretend we know how it will all work out or that we are even thrilled to be pregnant, we will just tell the truth. We believe God does all things for our good. Children are a blessing whether all planned-out-to-the-nines or simply as natural result of some really fun sex. I am not competent or capable enough to be a mother of six. I am a loser! Jesus regularly bashes down my idols. He regularly shows me my futile efforts at saving myself and my kids through moralistic religion. But not to tell me to get it together or do more. To show me that in my weakness, I am strong. There is NO way that this baby will be here of my strength. I am walking around nauseous with the laundry from last weekend not put away, racking my brain and the cabinets trying to find something to eat that doesn't make me more revolted, unbuttoning pants and losing all the muscles I fought to build again, and seeing all the order and tidy collapsing into a tidal wave of junk that will likely take a month to whip back into shape (once I can move without wanting to puke). I also fought with Stefan this morning and I don't even know why, although I was certain I was right. Mostly I just wanted him to join my pity party. But we did our schoolwork. Until Tristan vomited all over his markable map. We had three slow days of reading, math, history, crafting, and basic chores until this hour. The Holy Spirit gave me strength to do it with a gentle and quiet spirit. Tryn took care of kids when I passed out on the couch after lunch. Annika wiped Gideon's butt after he pooped by himself on the potty. Tryn brought me warm socks. They all did the best job cleaning up lunch and then entertained themselves pretty quietly while I was zonked. Liesl entertains herself cheerfully in her playpen for forty minutes at a time.
All my fussing is simply that. Fussing. Sinful, selfish, fussing. It takes me awhile to submit to this process. I REALLY HATE DENYING MYSELF. I would really like to read a book with a book group! But, as the Spirit blessed me with the thought at the lunch table the other day, these sweet, amazing souls will Lord willing be with me for an eternity! Why wouldn't we long to fill this table at the expense of all the other wants?
Stay tuned.....I might blog again before the year is up ;)

The quote of the day

2010-10-12T08:01:00.000-07:00

"Trials do not cause us to be what we have not been; rather, they reveal what we have been all along."
How People Change

Technical Updates

2010-09-28T14:05:00.000-07:00

Tryn is doing Beta and Gamma Math
Sonlight core 3+4 American History
Phonetic Zoo
Wordly Wise
Cycle 2 of Classical Conversations
Almost independently doing all the laundry. Thus far I have high hopes to do some Shurley, but I might Charlotte Mason it and wait til fourth grade. Life is short. She loves the spelling, crabs about any mild writing assignment and pays a great deal of attention to the details. Having more regular language arts causes her distress, but I am certain it will level out as she acclimates.

Annika is reading like a fiend. Yes. Oh, yes. She is doing level 3 reading books, which I am thrilled about because it clicked and then fast. So she and Tristan are doing Core 1 of Sonlight and listening to Tryn's read alouds as well. She has just finished Primer Math. Her math has dipped as the reading has taken off. She will have no problem with the Alpha Math, though. It was the reverse this time last year. Spelling is in the curriculum. Writing is coming from copywork via Sonlight and some workbooks. Punctuation is via Sonlight....it is all in the language arts. I still love our Easy Language Lessons, however. It is really great for her to practice letters. WHICH SHE KEEPS flipping and freaking me out about. She isn't dyslexic as much as lazy? I notice that she likes to read and guess sometimes by making up the vowels. She wants to go faster and then the details suffer. This is true of her chores and her obedience. She is cleaning bathrooms independently, unloading the dishwasher entirely, putting away all her clothes and cleaning her room. Tryn does all those too, but I don't want to retype it up there. Annika little spirit shines while caring for others. She is a lovely hostess and intuitively and naturally thinks of the needs of others and makes them feel welcome. She is an easy girl to get along with. I so loved watching her just run like the wind at Heidlefest with Kat.

Tristan is blasting away at of all things.... geography. I, too, have uncovered a long dormant desire to know where in the world everything is. Bhutan! Togo! Congo! Marking our maps up is a delightful way to make things concrete. Also dovetails nicely with the CC geography memory. He got 50 lessons into the 100 lessons to read and then flattened out, this was in May. It has been six months so I figure his brain might be ready to try again. I feel like he got the short shrift in life with all the trials surrounding his birth, etc. I am relieved he isn't a duh.
His dry, wry humor is a respite from the drama. He might be artsy. Lots of detailed drawings of buildings, boats, rockets, castles and equally compelling 3D Lego creations. I appreciate his focus. I appreciate that he tells me I look pretty. Giving him some workbooks to accomplish and color as his fine motor skills get a tad bit stronger. I don't want to start him handwriting too soon and then loathe it. He writes his name and recognizes all the letters and sounds. More importantly he thinks of huge storylines and details surrounding his pictures. The Phonetic Museum awaits and the big workbook with that....I won't do it in its entirety, because, well, it isn't feasible. H0wever, I like the little books and Auntie Rachel wrote one so that is kinda neat.
His job is to take out the kitchen trash, clean his room, help with the table clean up, etc. He also has taken to making sure he opens the doors for me....endearing! He loves the structure and getting himself up and at 'em comes most naturally to him (unlike me and Anni).

Gideon uses thinking putty to sit still. 'Still' being in one place but not without motion. Picking up lots of CC memory work and can do the entire timeline with the kids. The Mighty Minds toy which came with Sonlight is a good focuser as well as the Bambino Luk. Frankly, without him we would likely sit on our butts more. It is pure necessity for us to get walks and outside time just to help him listen. Which he inherited from me, so I am complicitly glad to help. He is learning his numbers, listening to LOTS of stories and reading, helping out by putting away silverware, getting the pillows plumped and put back on the couch, helping with whatever I ask him during zone cleaning time.

Liesl has the cutest hands. Folks commenting how blonde she is (and there is tons of gold in her hair). Climbs stairs, eats teething biscuits with wild abandon, takes two hour morning naps (amen), amuses self in playpen (amusing that she is the first to ever do this), no teeth but the top two will arrive soon, still bear crawling, bobbing, loves to find books and turn pages over and over, laughs expectantly at the dinner table hoping for everyone to join in. In contrast to the other kids, she doesn't cry to nurse in the middle of the night. She stands up in her crib (in our room) and just stands there. Now, I don't know for how long she has stood there, but get up and she is just expectantly quiet waiting to guzzle and crash back down. Then about two hours later she sits up and whacks her head into mine a few times to wake me up. BUT SHE DOESN'T MAKE ANY NOISE! Tristan would do something similar, but if he could get either his fingers in Stefan's hair or wrapped around mine then he would fall back asleep. Liesl likes to nurse and I can't fault her for making up time with me at night....we are busy and my milk supply would be whacked if not for this.
Okay. This was supposed to take ten minutes. But at least it will help me remember more than ten minutes of my life ten years from now.

Stats

2010-09-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

At some checkups and before Liesl pulls all manner of small items from shelves:
Tristan is 44 lbs and 43" at 5. 50% for weight and 65% for height
Gideon is 33 lbs and 38" at 3. 50 for weight and 75% for height
Liesl is 22 lbs and 29' at 10 mos so 75% for weight and 90% for height (a tall girl!)

Also, the FP approves the idea to go to the plastic surgeon to extract the remaining pre-cancerous lip growth. How I got the sun damage when I spent most of my life working indoors in the summer is mysterious.

It also dawned on me, that whilst I feel immensely and deeply and experience life via my feelings, I RARELY speak these out loud. My intuition on things, yes. My data (who needs data?) My thoughts (poor dears to your ears!) poorly. I rather despise sharing my feelings, and yet have thought about myself as transparent for many years. Upside? Surprised at 35 and time to work on it.

Freetime

2010-09-22T17:11:00.000-07:00

Why is it when I go to be alone for a minute (legitimately! we finished our work) that suddenly I am surrounded by all the kids (except Tryn, who is also looking to be alone for a minute)?
I said this out loud. Tristan responded quickly, "well, it is because you like us."
True. I do. I am thankful that he knows that.

Kickoff

2010-09-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

Notes to self:

Pray and pray and pray more over each kid and family as a whole for wisdom and direction

Either start in August or late September but not smack dab in the middle of Stefan's planning insanity at amazon.

Just order curriculum to look at it OR figure out when homeschool conventions are and be in town for either of them.

Potty training is not my forte. Child will not be in diapers when four, right?

Planning is not my forte. Adapting is. Unless I make the plan, at which point I consider adapting either my failure or my laziness. Must I torture entire family with my mental mindgame? I think not.

Rejoice over all the things going well instead of fixating on all the problems. And then who else is with these kids? No one. So therefore I am to blame for all the sin.
HAHA. Ah.ah.ah. The Enemy speaks. Bite me, Satan. I have been learning the difference between accusing and convicting.

We do not do school at home because we are not doing school at home. For us that means ADIOS VERITAS. Hello Sonlight.

Be thankful for contrite spirits all around. The first step to change is always REPENT not GIN IT UP.

New improvements:
Tryn sorting laundry and doing a load each morning. Laundry might all get folded on one night, but it is clean if really needed!

Annika unloading dishwasher every morning. More predictability for meal clean up.

Tristan and Gideon getting kitchen chores before breakfast keeps them with me and moving.
Delegating the chore of making sure the pillows are on the couches to Gideon was one of the more brilliant ideas I have had. Yep, I am not the brightest marker in the box.

Before breakfast chores are GREAT. After meal chores are still wonky. Might have to work breakfast back to 8:30, but eating at 9, 12, 3, and 6 is less clean up.

All the chore pack work from last year was WORTH IT. Getting the habits in.

Grace

2010-06-11T16:39:00.000-07:00

Is not something I am very familiar with. Recovering perfectionist, recovering pharisee, but recovering through grace as I keep telling the kids, "by Holy Spirit Power!" Thanks be to God.

Lielie is getting FAT

2010-03-05T16:44:00.001-08:00

Lovely Liesy:
Is just getting her soft long fingers wrapped around the side of my hands and fingers. So tiny, like little cat feet meandering along. She also gnaws on her fists ferociously to the point of getting painful looking red marks....,a few teeth?
Drool, drool, spit up. Bleck. She is difficult to keep sweet smelling, but when she is, what a delightful sniff. Didja know mama's universally smell the tops of their babies heads? Love that.
She is still in size one diapers ONLY because silly me thought I had forgotten to buy some and proceeded to accidentally purchase two enormous boxes of Pampers. Now, it has only become an issue this week as her butt and thighs have EXPLODED in doughy softness (her width couldn't attempt to keep up with her length until now). Oh, how I love fat baby legs. I love the dimples and creases and rolls and the sweet chunk that brands them as mine, just until they are lean and running away.
She is really easy. Only once in her life have I wondered what is going on....then she passed a disgusting amount of gas and was delightful again. She does nurse. Alot. She is a gourmet, a snacker.....too much at one time ends up all over my shirt anyway. She is a noisy, sloppy, lazy nurser (part of the reason she needs such a good burp afterwards). I am a little sad that her eyes are getting tan in the middle. No baby blues! Tryn's were this blue and she managed to have really gold centers so we will likely have another version of brown. Her ears are the biggest of them all, thankfully the crazy hair is a distraction....poor girl, at least she can hide them with hair like her mama. All the tears, hormones, middle of the night bathroom trips, uncertainties, exhaustion, giving up, giving away, giving in....ALL WORTH IT. Wouldn't trade her for more time with friends, more money, more peace or even more sewing time. I think when we contemplate the work of being pregnant we forget the end joy.

Crack me up

2010-03-05T16:41:00.000-08:00

Today my Trynee asks me if a certain compartment in her wallet is good for coupons. I nod affirmatively.
Then she replies, "Look, I'm just like you mom, I have my coupons and my magazine!"

Accessories

2010-02-16T08:30:00.001-08:00

Last night I went to cover the kids before I hit the hay. I find Annika is generally smooshed way under the covers, sheets smashed at the end of the bed, I am wondering how she breathes....kinda like her father. Tryn is tidy when she sleeps: covers up to chin along with sheets, head on the pillow, sans me. Tristan is splayed everywhere with covers optional. My favorite is when he has his arms tucked up under his head as if he is relaxing on the beach. Gideon is the rogue element (of course) generally his shirt is no where to be found and he is sleeping somewhere in Tristan's bed and has to be moved.
But I digress. What I had to laugh about was Annika's pink sparkle headband placed carefully next to her pillow. She LOVES her accessories. Sticker earrings, purses (really, she has a toy bin just for purses), necklaces, new Timex watch from Goodwill, etc, etc. Considering my woeful inability to accessorize it really cracks me up that she has such a defined excess of style. This is the kid who remembers to bring her purse everywhere. Note: I did not carry a purse until I was married? But her sparkle headband has barely left her head for a single day since her dad gave it to her for her Christmas outfit. A single day. It just dawned on me that she is perfectly capable of guarding that with her life, so I have to up the anty on taking care of other things like stuff I ask her to put away that ends up on a table or doorway of another room. If she can track that headband for three months she certainly can get some other things in the right spot!
Annika gets a bad rap for being spacey or distractable, but it is all relative. Buy gum, stick it in purse. Three days later, "Mom, do you have some gum I could have?" The kid has an amazing memory for certain things: treats, her special things, promises of treats. Hmmm. Better work on the Bible memory too.

2010-02-06T19:18:00.000-08:00

I love my Christmas camera. It makes me want to blog.
Cheerio. Here's hoping spring has sprung.

Little Happies

2010-01-17T22:18:00.000-08:00

1. Children not watching movies before breakfast
2. Little ones snuggling up to me while reading
3. Swallows and Amazons.... and friends with a much better record and memory of books to recommend
4. Baby coos and 'hey, I am over here and I want to chat' noises
5. Finally, a kid in the 99% for height. And feet growing out of her six month shoes at two months
6. Morning schedule that is flexible yet persuasive, and color coded? Shah (with Wayne's World like inflection)
7. Communion. Grace.
8. Hot showers. Hot rice socks.
9. Trynee having kindness and reading to her siblings, mispronouncing wreath, irritable, bikini. It is mostly a function of emphasis/syllable
10. Annika's fun mannerisms and inflections
11. Tristan sweetly offering to warm up the rice sock for me whenever I needed it
12. Avoiding bedridden mastitis three times in three weeks
13. Gideon accidentally whacking me in my very sore boob and apologizing sweetly with MUCH empathy....."sohwee mama, sohwee!"
14. No one living with us.
15. Random stop in's by former roomies: Alexia, Mike, and Jon.
16. Managing to function with two massive in-law meltdowns
17 . Foils instead of single process
18. Not yelling. If I do apologizing promptly.
19. Getting through the dark doldrums of January

O, Christmas Tree

2009-12-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

You have to be put away, but not quite yet. Certainly before you start shedding all your needles everywhere....the vacuum IS broken. Amazon prime promises me another one tomorrow.
The toys are played with and loved.
All the wrapping paper is ripped and a few ribbons reclaimed from the recycle pile.
The stockings are empty and mine had some Starbucks cards!
Disney made a first appearance: Buzz Lightyear action figure and kid wing apparatus. I don't regret it AT ALL. The boys are busy getting to infinity and beyond.
Tryn had her first bout with jealousy and high expectations and not knowing what to with it.
Annika didn't get her big present in the mail...a few tears. They have exited pure delight then grabbing to a more sophisticated stage of sin. All emergencies conquered.
God was exceedingly kind to us this year. A new beautiful baby, material blessings a plenty, wise counsel, good preaching, community and fellowship deepening and wide. Last night it dawned on me that I will be 35 and that suddenly seems really fast. Glad that I can enjoy in heaven what I cannot possibly get to here, and that for hundreds of millions of years. Funny, I cringed at writing hundreds of millions of years because usually that is evolutionary propaganda. Bite me, Darwin.....you can't ruin my afterlife.

Musing on Meals

2009-10-31T08:09:00.000-07:00

Lunch is always a toss up. The conversations thrill or kill me. Tristan, with a dead serious face asks his sisters "who wants to be a fart for Reformation Day, what would that look like?" Then the sly corner of his mouth turns up a grin as they squeal out factual responses about how impossible it is to be bubbly gas.
Most lunches I am like a referee. "Gideon! No throwing plates (cups, forks, etc). Gideon, no hitting your brother with food or utensils, nope, that doesn't mean you can bang on the table either. Tristan, scooch away from your brother and eat. Tryn, feet off your sister's chair. Annika, where are you going? Annika, sit down. On your butt. Annika, feet off your sister's chair. Gideon, food does not go in your cup. Gideon, sit up. Gideon eat a bite of your bagel. Gideon, no blowing bubbles in your milk. Whoops, somebody grab a rag!" We spill one drink a meal, begetting the question "Why doesn't she use sippy cups?" (lazy) and "Why doesn't she bring a rag to every meal?" (hopeful laziness?)
At some point in my life I will be okay with the chair gymnastics of my small children....I know that Annika listens better while contorting and wiggling and touching things and it seems that Gideon also has this affliction (courtesy of their mother). Learning styles aside, Stefan and I have discovered that dinner doesn't hold much conversation for us anymore unless we really put effort and focus into it.
On a sweet note: the kids are all really good at clearing the table, unloading and putting away dishes, and helping out with setting the table. This has provided much relief from the dinner workload and it is true that somethings get easier. Nor would I trade any of them for less work or more dinner conversation or cleaner rags.

Shrinky dink

2009-08-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

Towards the last weeks of pregnancy life shrinks very quickly, although not tidily enough for me.
To do it well I have to let go, let go, let go. Not my forte...although I try to fool myself that I am really flexible. Goodbye to extra social time, energy, projects of all sorts, fancy food, etc, etc. I try to remember it is for a season and soon (six months goes by fast!) we will have a little baby snugged up in a wrap as we bop about town getting a startling list of accomplishments going. Startling in that they have been unimaginable and exhausting until that day and no more thrilling than say, getting groceries, laundry, and the library in one day.
But to put it all in perspective we will have a lovely, sweet smelling, stretching, floppy bundle of baby nuzzling asleep on everyone's chests and making sweet baby sighs and sweet baby smiles and opening our family up on another personality addition in God's delightful plan for us. Somedays I just can't wait! Then I remember I have to go through labor again.....

Grace

2009-06-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

God is just SO kind to us.
I am ridiculously thankful for an offer on the house this week. Hadn't realized how weighty the wait was was until the relief of a buyer happened. Hopefully inspections will be smooth and uneventful and I will have time to go dig up plants from our darling backyard....as I doubt the single guy cares that much.
It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me, period. The physical ailments left and the emotional upheavals began. Not surprising, in reflection, that to process the adding of another life and all it's assorted energy to our family is unwieldy and complicated for me. It seems rather normal to be overwhelmed and unsteady about it for a bit, but I couldn't see that when I was in it and I still get that pregnancy confusion of forgetting what I already know. Mostly I come to the conclusion that God is overwhelmingly gracious and as I depend on the Spirit, life is lovely, but when I get all wrapped up in my own efforts, I fall hard, fast and get stinkin' mean! This idea of worship has made complete sense to me in the last year : that what/who we worship is our functional savior. I am such an idolater. When I asked Jesus a year ago to show me my idols I had no idea what I was in for. What a blessing to have my misdirected worship shown to me.
But it is off to vacation and time to pack!

It's Beginning to look alot like Spring.....

2009-04-25T08:15:00.000-07:00

The new yard is blooming with Magnolia, cherry, pear, and perhaps a scanty five plum blossoms. (Stefan was a pruning maniac). We have an abundance of lovely pink tulips scattered about and a Ceoanthus that should start blooming soon. The early spring welcomed a huge flush of daffodils in the front yard, hellebores, and camelias. It really is the yard I had hoped to make at our old house, but about ten years ahead in size. We scored huge terracotta pots off craigslist at a killer deal and I am seeing veggies, vines, herbs and some summery flowers in the sun next to the deck. The drowning hazard (aka hot tub) is slated for pickup to some happy sot who likes to lounge about half naked in his backyard. "Not I!" says the Megan.
Speaking of growing, I am eleven weeks pregnant and .....whoops. Someone needs a bottom wipe. okay. back from the bathroom to my random thoughts....yes, eleven weeks and starting to not be sick everyday....Hallelujah. It is amazing how debilitating the first trimester can be and this was a doozy: neck problems, flu virus, colds, teething. I have barely kept up the child rearing or food on the table....forget school...that went away for three weeks too. Lots of fresh air when it wasn't spring showering, outings to Goodwill (how can the smell of that place not gross me out when pregnant I don't understand), whining to my mother (not that I got her to visit), praying to not be so irritable to the kids and my husband, falling asleep on the couch for an hour while Gideon napped (another reason for no school...that is our prime time). So now we have a on and a half inch baby to speak of and for that I am grateful and trying to be reasonably sympathetic to the actual work my body was doing.
Quick notes (since these will apparently be the only record of my children's lives...pathetic and infrequent)
Tryn is growing like a fiend. Her two top teeth remain to pop in, although they popped out long ago. I think I should be taking more calcium. (It really is all about me). We are having an actual Medieval birthday party with more than just family guests. We are doing it every seven years....as this every year party for kids seems to grow adults into a personally exhausting birthday fetish which I cannot quite understand. Or maybe some folks just get told when they are 18 to "grow up, no more jumpy castles for you!" Being that we are having more than four kids it is not sustainable to have a party for them every year...nor wise....at least for the person their mother is. Every seven years because every kids birthday is a multiple of seven....tada.
She is not busy enough. I had her make scones from the Usborne Fairy cookbook and suddenly her entire demeanor changed to delightful. Lack of school for her is not healthy for her brain.
Annika is so much bigger and actually listening occasionally to stories read out loud and discussions we have. If candy is mentioned it is a magic memory elixir. She is tons of fun with Tristan and they play fairly splendidly together. She is fast. She is intuitive. She is practical. She LOVES food network and then playing food network. She might just grow up to be a chef. Oh, wait, or a hair designer....Tristan had his bangs remodeled care of Annika this week. She will play sports.....like her mother she has to get the energy out to focus. Yeah, I haven't gotten any energy out lately (once again, all about me:)
Tristan. Currently his favorite phrase is "yeah, but....." which leads me to ask him if he wants something done TO his butt. But beyond that he is remarkable cheerful in the morning, even when listening to Gideon yell from his crib, "MAAAA, MAAAMA......MOM. ...mom....?" He is the kid that actually plays sincerely with toys. He is constantly building with Duplo or dressing up the Playmobil knights or zooming around the house on the plasma car. He is very affectionate to school, asking plaintively "Mom, can I do my schoolwork now?" Which is usually cutting or tracing....now I am going to start with his letter sounds. He is learning to be a big brother even if that means sometimes giving a little back to Gideon to make sure he knows his place. He loves going on walks and running, although not being as fast as his sisters is dissappointing he is learning to encourage them and stay ahead of mama.
Gideon. Whoa. What a bullhead. Adorable, quite charming bullhead. Only gives up if the consequence is serious. I remember this same malady myself (I would like to say it was when I was a child, but it persists). He only speaks in one word sentences and even those are hard to decipher. However, if I give him a two step direction he has no trouble following through. He LOVES to do the hand motions to "Oh the Deep, Deep Love of Jesus," "Jesus Loves Me," and raises his hands and chimes in on the last word of each part of "Glory Be to the Father." Blues Clues is his favorite show. He keeps all the kids laughing at the table as the entertainer of the family.
Well, time to make a lemon cake for Tryn's birthday. Signing off, hopefully for less than six months!

Three Books that Inspire My Mothering

2008-11-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

What Is A Family

Hidden Art of Homemaking

both by the lovely Edith Schaeffer

A Charlotte Mason Companion: Personal Reflections on the Gentle Art of Learning
by Karen Andreola

2008-10-30T18:44:00.000-07:00

Publish Post

Isn't it funny that it has the same address number as my childhood home? Obviously the one WITHOUT SNOW is the new house. When we walked up to it I paused and thought..."now this is weird!"

New House

2008-10-30T18:38:00.001-07:00

Breath deeply, sigh. The new house is really big. Bigger than I ever could have imagined I wanted. Bigger than my childhood home where six kids ran around. Big enough to have to search for little children. The kitchen is enormous. I have NO excuse not to be hospitable. It is delightful to be able to spread out as I cook and not every surface is dirty by the end.
God is so gracious and kind. I feel the bounty :"and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. " Not that in anyway do I feel like I have given enough to deserve this.
It has been a long hike. I feel today a bit like we are looking over a vista before the next trailhead.

Reasons to sell your house

2008-09-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

Because trying to keep a house show worthy while living in it with four kids is absolutely hysterical. It is the definition of losing your sanity. But then I remember Romans 8:1
" There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus,^[a] who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."
But my flesh is longing and thirsting for the pride that accompanies getting everything spiffy so that I can congratulate myself on the early sale of our house rather than God's gracious providence. Ow, die to self, OW!
After the baby broke the lamp ten minutes before we were leaving, my flesh cried out, "yell at the children, it is all their fault!" and yet the Spirit calmed me and I said, "it's okay, it's only a lamp....we could live by the flesh and holler, but we are going to live by the Spirit." My daughters, in astonishment at this unpredictable turn of attitude from their normally angry mother, responded with a relieved "yeah mom!"
So the pressure mounts as the engorged stomach of the economy is ready to vomit up it's excess and fast for awhile, and yet I am trying to sell a house. It is the Lord who steadies my husband....and I keep feeling nauseous as I quell waves of anxiety from thinking about it at all.

Who is Doing What

2008-09-17T08:33:00.000-07:00

Annika is taping and poster goo sticking her multi-media artwork in choosy, obvious spots at about the three foot level around the house.
Tryn is reading everything, including chewing up four Encyclopedia Brown books in one day. She is thoughtful and pondering alot in her head, trying to make connections between facts, often interrupting my instructions as she seeks to clarify a fact.
Tristan is matter of fact. And he wails when he doesn't get his way, which is quite spoiled of him and I am a wee bit embarrased that it slipped under my radar so long. He knows all his colors, the Apostles Creed, and more about trains than I ever have.
Gideon climbs up the ladder, sits up on the top of the slide, lies down belly to the slide while holding on to the rail, then lets go. All very deliberate and and dexterous. I am nervous....Annika wasn't even as agile at that age.....and she is my most coordinated.
Gideon was chasing the chickens back and forth through the backyard. He also signs milk, please, more, and the most effective: point and grunt
Tristan, to my chagrin, is still not potty trained. But I am falling back on that old when we move he might regress so why start now.
Tryn is so very busy. I just bought the girls school uniforms for next month. She wants to wear them now.
The best part is that in September, all the uniforms are on sale at the Gap...teehee.
Annika is a lovely hostess and asks guest politely if they would like a cup of coffee and then brings them one. She has sweet people skills, until she kisses their arm or something weird which makes me worry that we are raising those kind of homeschool kids. ;)
We are busily and determinedly working on the house, preparing it for sale and hoping it sells sooner rather than later. The move to the northside is shocking in that God's means really bumped us into action, and then he took the motivator (a new baby) away, and now we are just moving and nothing is standing in our way of getting this crazy house by the freeway with a little yard? You know Stefan loves me when he buys a house with no garage.

Bittersweet

2008-09-16T22:10:00.001-07:00

Bark Mulch. Isn't it great. Should have done it at the beginning of summer. Now we only have two weeks to enjoy it. Then, then we move.

Updates from the End of Summer

2008-08-24T14:28:00.001-07:00

Yep, that's it. It's official. We have entered a new phase. Oldest has lost her first tooth. While she experiences excitement, accomplishment, the fun of the 'tooth angel' leaving money in her shoe.....I feel a stab of bewilderment, shock, surprise at how little time seems to have past since she cut that tooth and how miserably it came in as opposed to going out. And I have to say, whoa, my milk gave her everything she needed to grow that tooth....bizarre.
But her smile is really cute, huh?

Ways to spend a sick day

2008-04-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

When everyone just needs a long ride, a little fresh air, and a nap. Perks of living in the Pacific Northwest: only an hours drive to Tulip Festival

Fragged

2008-04-17T21:56:00.001-07:00

An adjective most often used by my father to mean something like exhausted with your mind falling apart.
Accomplishments since January:
Gideon is 23 lbs.
Annika is not as bored and into trouble.
The girls can put away their own laundry, make their beds, and tidy up their room. It still takes alot of reminders though. All children are doing better with initiating toothbrushing.
Tristan has a train table.
Gideon raises his hands to get us to say "SOOOO BIG" again.
Annika knows most of her capital letters and sounds. She read STOP.
Both of the girls are really good at mazes on paper.
Scripture memory system started. It isn't complicated, but helps motivate me.
We eat breakfast together and do catechism.
Tryn is sans adenoids and tonsils.
We have been outside for a stretch at least once a week...Kubota, park, backyard.
Six new chicks.
Revamped budget with Stefan and sticking to envelopes
Worked out at least twice a week for six months (except for one really sick week)
Lost five pounds and have actual visible hamstring muscles!
Getting a better meal planning system in place
Letting a lot go. Alot.
Getting a daily rhythm.
Baking more with the girls....doing math problems while on the road
Getting Gideon into more of a predictable nap rhythm

Growing strong

2008-04-03T18:59:00.001-07:00

Juggling Act

2008-04-03T09:49:00.000-07:00

Inevitably, I drop balls. Every year brings a few more, and all though my juggling skills have increased significantly, the ball representing a clean bathroom, patient instruction, or oops, that friend's birthday is lying there only to be retrieved if I can manage to drop the go to bed early ball or swoop down to pick up the time alone to get my head straight ball.
With the first kid, your being is astonished, even insulted, by the sudden, unrelenting demands of motherhood. With the second you realize how much you have gotten used to juggling a kid, and it is back to the intense time requirements of a newborn + the toddler insanity. Add a third, and the ensuing chaos becomes the background hum of your everyday motor. The adaptations are constant, tiring, and inspiring. With number four certain compromises must be made...bye bye bath twice a week for kids ball. The mom gets a shower everyday disappeared somewhere with kid number two. Getting to shave is more of a "whoops!" (as I cross my legs) reminded to get to it. One of my compromises was chucking the scrapbook every moment of each kid's life ball so far I will not find it for another 20 years.
So Jesus is good. The best part is to remember that I am not juggling of my own strength and only resting in Him do I have the necessary coordination for my life.

2008-03-16T19:28:00.000-07:00

Inspired to take a picture of my Strawberry Shortcake.
Just because.
All from scratch, because it is okay to indulge, even on a regular old Tuesday
night.

Seasons keep it fresh

2008-02-23T17:08:00.000-08:00

The sun has shone for a week straight here in Seattle. This is a rare and definite blessing, not taken for granted. The mountains are crisp with the white snow laden caps defining them even more sharply . The rays are shortening as the sun gets higher in the sky and the days get perceptibly longer. I feel imbued with excitement as spring peeks here and there: green bluebell sprouts, fuzzy gray magnolia pods gracing the trees at Coulon Park, the new chartreuse tipped growth on cedars.
I am glad to live where the seasons change, but you can still work outside in a t-shirt on a sunny February afternoon. Jon is taking inventory of his new 2002 BMW and Mike is repairing the intake manifold on his Astrovan. Stefan generously lathered the kids in sunscreen and went sledding on Mt. Rainier for three hours. Gideon and I got to do things I never can do, exciting things not involving being interrupted by three other kids....trying on pants at Goodwill, checking out a furniture outlet, meandering the aisles at my favorite fabric store. Why we don't go our separate ways on Saturday more often, I don't know!
Gideon grinned obligingly at every nice lady who stopped to admire him. It was such at treat to be with just him for the whole day. He is a sweetheart (who hates to miss anything).
I am hoping for some time to sew, thinking 33 is a great age to become, and wondering what day this new Kelso girl is going to be born.

Concerning Samson and the Lion

2008-02-11T14:46:00.000-08:00

"Mom, when God gives us His Spirit we can tear open the jaws of our sin!"
Tryn 5 and 1/2

Concerning Old Testatment Catechism: The Fall of Man

2008-02-11T09:07:00.000-08:00

That's what Satan got. A spank and a jail. And he fell into the earth somewhere and the people are there waiting to be saved, but they aren't going to be saved. Yes, He makes fires in his jail.
And Satan lives in Lapland. (really, why?) I'll tell you why it's true mama, it is in that book we got from the library downtown, The Devil and the Shrew.
now that I've written it down I will go and work on some theological correction.

yep, He is eating frozen oreos

2008-02-02T08:54:00.001-08:00

my first vehicle

2008-02-02T08:30:00.000-08:00

You know a 2 1/2 yo lives in the city when he draws a blob and calls it a 'taco bus' Look mom,
three taco buses!
to be fair he did call it a firetruck first, but the evolution into taco bus occured with the addition of window scribbles.

Tryn, what are you reading?

2008-01-25T17:28:00.001-08:00

Not willing to stop reading she holds up her bedtime book: Hero Tales (as if this is self explanatory). "What is it about?" I pursue. "Making Christians of black people!" her excited reply. "Missionary trips?" I clarify.
"YES, it's Fantastic!" This is what happens when your five year old reads at a fourth grade level, but doesn't comprehend in the same fashion. Good stuff.

I wonder

2008-01-25T17:26:00.000-08:00

Do some folks plan a day around blogging it later that night....?
Sometimes it all seems so orchestrated.

2007-10-13T13:51:00.000-07:00

Gideon Justus Haney
two and a half months of sweetness!
currently 16 lbs and getting brown eyes

2007-06-29T15:40:00.000-07:00

Girls growing up:
Tryn is on lesson 95 of teaching to read in a 100 easy lessons! She has created an entire dress out of play silks today, it is quite the creation.
Annika wants to sit still for books. When asked a question during Bible reading, her reply is always, "Jesus." Can't knock her for the safe bet. She pursues that answer with, "God or Heaven." During correction she wants to get to the point, "can we just do my verse?" (Romans 12:10)
As an added bonus to memory time, Tristan has learned Proverbs 1:7 "Duh Feah of da Lohd is da ginning of knowlige, but foohs SPIZE da wisdom and fructions!" He turned two yesterday. And had NO idea how to blow out candles. Just kept looking at them and making silly faces, expecting something to happen. Finally his sisters were allowed to help out.
I am 37 weeks pregnant. Enough said. Things are getting done today, minus a shower or brushing my teeth.

2007-05-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

Everyone wanted to be mobile with the dolls. We fashioned slings out of play silks so they could carry babies like mama. It was pretty cute.

That's Just the Way I Grow Them

2007-05-22T21:00:00.000-07:00

Ultrasound tonight to rule out a low-lying placenta. It is at the level of the baby's chin, so no problems there, phew. The homebirth is still on! (I was wondering if a c-section would be added to my life experiences) The radiologist came in afterward and asked how big my other babies were. (8, 9, & 10.8 lbs) Then proceeded to say this baby is in the 99th percentile and that I should expect another 10 pounder. I'm thinking we have another strapping boy, and a very cute baby with Stefan's profile! But the head circumference on this one will be an intense pushing stage, so that is hard to be fearless about. My pelvis has plenty of room, but I am going to have to push slowly to keep from tearing and going slowly is just agonizing. But we will have a new baby in the next 6-10 weeks and that is a fantastic blessing.
Being in Seattle, we got to go to a sibling prep class given by the Penny Simkin. She is as AMAZING in person as in video. Her contributions to childbirth education and research are phenomenal.

Happenings as of Late

2007-05-18T15:47:00.000-07:00

I am looking out on a freshly painted deck! My brother Michael also finished the last piece of the front entrance way and painted the steps the same color as the trim. These are the little happies of life. They are particularly important to a woman anticipating giving birth before the next three months are up.
Nesting is a powerful force driven by a combination of panic, planning, and insistence. I laugh as I remember the last time I cared much whether the tops of the kitchen cabinets were dusted-you guessed it, about exactly two years ago when I was almost as pregnant. My husband has been given a three page list titled "Nesting I, II, & III." Today I realized I might be able to increase my efficiency if I made him a copy to take with him to work. He would laugh if I handed it to him, but he would most likely make our weekends even more useful.
I am not a super organized zealot. Really. Only as # four's arrival imminently approaches have I garnered the desperate energy to get some things done. I actually have planned to sew replacement seats for deck chairs I hauled out of the next door neighbors free pile. Then my mom invested in the fabric (two yards of Sunbrella Tuscan orange) so now I am really required to finish that project!
I guess remodeling the bathroom or replacing the kitchen floor are out at this point (although maybe, just maybe!) Part of the pressure is carefully reordering the functions of the house (1800 sq ft-including the basement) and purging the stuff that floats around to a useful place or to the goodwill bag. Yesterday I sent forth with good wishes at least 6 baby blankets that are just taking up space. Some were homeade gifts, I have to confess. But those were the ugly or stained ones! Only 18 more are waiting to be used! It's like the baby blankets were making babies in the drawer.
Other notes:
Tryn is reading her first books: green eggs and ham, fat cat on a mat, or whatever is in sight such as "quick oats"
("mom, is the 'a' quiet?")
Annika is concentrating and sitting still and liking workbooks. This is a huge accomplishment and gives me hope for my future sanity. Tracing is giving her above average skills. I hope to work with the girls on the Drawing with Children book by Mona Brooks this summer. Or maybe we'll stick to fingerpainting outside and mom glued to a chair nursing a newborn.
Tristan is saying everything. Of special importance to him is location: "right der" "der she is" "da pane in da sky up der!" "oh, where's my hedicopter?" Yesterday I took him out of our truck and as we walked by the new for us but very old convertible he woefully shook his head and said, "not the poptop today." Rides in cooler cars matter, even to 23 month old little boys.
So, the Lord continues to bless us even amongst our frailty and weakness. Our sermon this week was especially encouraging "Childrearing: Praying without Ceasing"
and can be downloaded and listened to. Our pastor has been bringing it on lately and we are admonished and blessed.
Next on the list: build the coop and get chicks. Yep, more creatures to care for. I almost could go for a cat?! This was anathema after the second child. and the third. Now, who cares. It is all busyness and we are at a chaotic hum.

Jots

2007-03-02T15:03:00.000-08:00

Baby moving around alot in the evening. Can't believe we are half-way through
In response to a picture in If you Give a Pig a Party, Ani says, "it's a rummel-mess!" Her father often tells her to clean up the 'rummelhof' in german.
Tryn is on lesson 25 in Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and breezing on through. It is a well thought out little book and much less painful to do than I originally imagined. 15 minutes a day and she is reading words!
Tristan is saying things like, "talk the phone?" "Oh! Mama, duh phone" (when it rings) "Help!" "I did it" "bob duh buiwder" "choo choo" "truck" "More pease" His vocabulary has exploded in the last month. Today he started singng the hymn "What 'er My God Ordains is Right" with "I take content what He has sent" clear as a bell.
And "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus" is another favorite song. He usually walks around with a book in his hands as he sings
I am tending toward impassioned discussions about birth control, family planning, socialization with homeschooling, and schedule fed babies that grow up and aren't required to eat any solid food (although the breastfeeding was like a Nazi torture camp?) I don't follow the logic. I pity those exposed to my very hormonal influenced argumentation.

Dream Quotes from Tryn

2007-02-23T09:25:00.000-08:00

Lady Elaine and Mr. Rogers wanted me and Anni to stick to flowers and not eat anything. It was bad. Then me and Anni got off the flowers after you and dad killed Lady Elaine.
My Bible class was at the Neighborhood of Make believe and she wanted to change the park there into a big building. and then we were having fun just playing in the backyard. That's it.

extremists

2007-02-22T16:37:00.000-08:00

I am one of them. Those crazy thinking, not conforming, refusing to send my children to preschool sorts. (I know, gasp, doesn't that qualify for child abuse these days?) I am 5 months pregnant and truly showing. Today was an interesting day of walking in downtown Seattle holding hands with the wee ones (4, 3, 1.5) and wooo, people really stare. Some of it is just that children are an unusual sight, but coupled with an obviously pregnant mother, the reactions are intensified. I now have an inkling of how mom felt when people asked her if she ran a daycare.
Did I mention the kids don't go to 18 different classes? No swimming, dancing, ballet, gymnastics. It is a wonder that they can play with other children at all! The class we take everyday is Love thy Neighbor as Thyself.
My sarcasm belies the frustration I feel at group think. In a USA, where the most important opinion is that of your peer group (we are all well socialized, dontcha know) it would seem that Christian culture would stand apart. Be radically and obviously different than those around them in word, thought, deed. Nope, we all are Israelites checking out the idols and Ashteroths. Some of this seems more clear to me when it comes to a center of family as core fellowship of God's people. And I don't doubt that I have lots of blind spots. But I can't help but think being a second generation homeschooler has helped bust through some of the need for me to base everything I do based on looking around me, rather than God's word. (Thank you Lord, for your providence in making me a weirdo all those/these years!) I can only imagine how my mom felt 20 years ago, when homeschooling wasn't even remotely understood.

Out of the Box

2007-02-11T19:35:00.000-08:00

One of the verses often repeated in our house is
"Love your neighbor as yourself" In the past I have thought of my neighbor as the guy down the street or the friend at church. The use of this verse in childrearing has made me apply it to my closest neighbors: the folks I'm are most easily tempted to forget to love, my family.

The Heidelberg catechism I learned as a kid comes to mind as I remember the answer, "we are prone to hate both God and our neighbor"

In many ways, neighbor expresses proximity. Who do we live in closer proximity with than our husbands and children? I am most prone to blatantly hate my family! It is much easier to put my best, most generous and loving behavior on for anyone but my family. But to them I get down and dirty and all the masks come off.

So, not only do I instruct my children in this daily, that instruction reminds me to love them. Most of my complaining and grumbling during the day is the result not of my childrens' behavior, but of my reaction to it. I want to love myself, feel sorry for myself, and forget the command to love them as myself.

Life doesn't have to be so complicated or so messy when we bring it down to what Christ says in Matthew 22:
37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’^[d] 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’^[e] 40 On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

So that is my first application of this passage. The other is simply an answer to all these "socialization" arguments that I hear from friends about homeschooling. I don't care how well my kids get along with other kids! First and foremost, I want them to live in love and service to God and our family. I find it a much more useful and realistic scenario for the rest of their lives. Where better to learn this than at home? If I can teach my children how to serve and love within the family I am not concerned about that translating to others around them. (It helps, of course, that we are not limiting our family to current social norms. Their will be at least four of them to get along together come July)
Parents socialize children, not other children. I don't care how many "friends" my kids have at age 40, as long as my daughters are close to each other. I don't care how many activities they participate in, as long as they are content and thankful in what God gives to them.
Just as an aside, is the youth worship culture of today something you want your children "socialized" to?
Isn't it bizarre to view friendship as one age category?
Anyway, I find the socialization argument a genuinely laughable one, being that I was home schooled for eight years myself. My mom taught me by example to be genuinely interested in and caring of other people, regardless of their age, gender, or color. She also put our family relationships first and for that, and the five brothers and sisters I have, I am truly blessed.

Haney Happenings

2007-02-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

Lots of sunshine this week in Seattle and although cold in the morning, the temperature is 50 in the sunny spots. The kids have been spending time outside, happily, for the first time in a long time. Finally, it seems, we have reached a compatible age for the girls to play together for a long stretch. Tristan....well he could stay outside all afternoon just tromping around, finding jumpropes, chasing his sisters,and walking headlong into the paths of a whizzing swings. The girls travel the world (Australia is a particular favorite), have tea parties, call each other Shannon and Megan. Tryn is always narrating their explorations and Annika is echoing her sentiments.
I am growing more poochy and looking more chubby than pregnant still. The extra weight and work of my body leaves me tired going up or down stairs. I am starting to feel the consequences of bending over: contractions. Already. Ah, the fourth pregnancy. Each time they come sooner as the uterus wants to get a faster start on exercising itself in preparation for the birthday. Why can't I be as smart as my uterus? I bought a pregnancy workout DVD this week. Then my neck went out and was too inflamed to add any extra stress to. Bother!
In other news, I have jumped the hump and started doing the reading curriculum with Trynstar. Guess what! It is not the drudgery I expected. I actually look forward to it. Then I read some thoughts of other young mothers and was utterly discouraged. But I have to remind myself that they send their kids away and have other people do all this work for them.
Tryn is a smart cookie and loves to learn. This makes things easier. While she is not quite 5 yet, she wants to learn to read and mom has been holding off. I read at 5 with only Mr. Rogers and Sesame Street for instruction. She can do it. The question is: can mom be consistent????
Annika is a totally different bird. She has NO attention span. Granted, she is only three, but the kid JUST started wanting to read books together and sitting through an entire story. Tristan is climbing up on me with books in hand, just like Tryn. I just bought a mini trampoline for Anni, mostly, so that she can jump out some of her energy before she sits down for tabletime.
Well, our day is in slo-mo and I need to ramp it up.
GO BEARS, whip on those lame hoosiers.

Good Day

2007-01-25T15:03:00.000-08:00

Today was a productive day.
Bathroom cleaned, taught Tryn the basics of how to do that.
Bread started: almost in the oven.
Chicken cooked for soup.
Laundry all dumped down the stairs by gleeful children and I managed to sort it and get two loads done already. Vacuumed and tidied the main floor.
Read Brer Rabbit book to the girls.
Sent the kids outside for a half hour. Tristan loves it the most and doesn't mind the wet one bit.
Did our Bible story, prayer and singing at lunch.
Checked ebay for maternity clothes deals (that was the big time waster)
This while the girls played with the new Cuisenaire rods (very excited)
Tristan is napping peacefully.

How this managed to happen? Well, I suppose the fact that I made a plan on Sunday night for the week made a distinct difference. I use my time more effectively if I have a better overall picture of the week.
Now I might actually take a short breather on the couch!

2007-01-12T16:58:00.000-08:00

For lack of a better tradition, I promised the girls that they could eat the candy off of the gingerbread house we made on Christmas. Annika, after pulling alot of candy off, just went to town chewing on that puppy. Annizilla.
It was funny because she could not be distracted from chewing on the thing until she was done.
Note, you can see the work she did on her hair with the scissors really well.

2007-01-12T16:10:00.000-08:00

Mom: "Tryn, we are not from Israel, we are not Israelites, so whose people are we from?"
Tryn, thinking hard....
"Chicagoites?"

My Birth Favorites

2007-01-11T17:15:00.000-08:00

Part of a letter I wrote to one of my husband's co-workers. Stuff I'd recommend to anyone.

What qualifications do I have? Experience as a labor and delivery and postpartum nurse, birth assistant at homebirths, childbirth education in a medicaid clinic and hospital series, given birth two three children at home and freestanding birth centers with NO medication and NO complications, breastfed a cumulative 5.5 years.

Here are the books I have found most practical:
Sears and Sears The Pregnancy Book and The Baby Book.
Encouraging, detailed month by month, very helpful. The baby book you want in the middle of the night when a kid is sick. The book you want to prepare you for baby to come.
http://www.amazon.com/Pregnancy-Book-Month-Month-Everything/dp/0316779148/sr=8-1/qid=1168559693/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-5701533-8218507?ie=UTF8&s=books
Nursing Mother, Working Mother Gale Prior
http://www.amazon.com/Nursing-Mother-Working-Essential-Breastfeeding/dp/1558321179/sr=1-6/qid=1168559767/ref=sr_1_6/102-5701533-8218507?ie=UTF8&s=books
Birthing from Within by Pam England
Taking this class and this book totally prepared me and I had seen/helped @ 200 births. Makes you really think about what you want out of birth and what you are worried about.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/102-5701533-8218507?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=Birthing+from+Within&Go.x=11&Go.y=17&Go=Go
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth Ina May Gaskin
If you want to really know how it is, this gal tells the truth. Just good for the chapter on sphincter law...nobody else tells you this.
http://www.amazon.com/Ina-Mays-Guide-Childbirth-Gaskin/dp/0553381156/sr=1-2/qid=1168560355/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-5701533-8218507?ie=UTF8&s=books
Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy
So much funnier than girlfriends guide without the useless extras
http://www.amazon.com/Belly-Laughs-Naked-Pregnancy-Childbirth/dp/0738210072/sr=1-1/qid=1168562199/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-5701533-8218507?ie=UTF8&s=books
Websites I regularly visit:
www.drjaygordon.com Really EXCELLENT pediatrician, practical sleep ideas
www.kellymom.com can't go wrong with this breastfeeding information, could be easier to navigate, but it is up to date, research based and practical.
If you want to breastfeed, you will simplify your life and set yourself up for more success if you take a class or attend a few La Leche meetings before you have the baby. Take a class from someone who has actually breastfed, the more kids the better :) here is something to encourage you to give that baby your milk:
http://www.kellymom.com/newman/risks_of_formula_08-02.html
www.babycentre.co.uk
http://www.sheilakitzinger.com "She is the Earth Mother, or Birth Mother of the nation. If Britain is now one of the most progressive countries in obstetric practice, it is largely due to her"

Polly Toynbee, The Guardian

Things I would avoid:
Girlfriends guide to pregancy. Negative, bitchy, certainly not well researched.
What to Expect when you are Expecting (or, how to be psychotic about your diet and nervewracked about every choice you make)
Breastfeeding books written by doctors.
Lists of what you need to buy for the baby. Formulate your parenting philosophy first and don't let anyone tell you what you absolutely Have to get. Just like the advice in this little diatribe, it may not be right for you.

boys have more fun

2007-01-01T17:08:00.000-08:00

He found that the mechanics of doors can be fascinating for an hour
Less drama, more direction
Trains!
Figured out that unwrapping had an immediate result
Loves to eat. Anything I make. With a grin and high five or a "OOH"
Pulls his train around saying, "c'mon buddy"

Labor of Love

2007-01-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

Here's the funny part. These are the pajamas I wore while in labor with both of the girls. How to let go of treasured item while remembering its signifigance?
I think this suffices.
Tryn 4.5
Annika two weeks away from THREE!

O Tannenbaum

2007-01-01T16:57:00.000-08:00

Didn't we pick a pretty tree? It was the nicest tree we ever did have, no bare spots or malformations and all the ornaments looked spectacular. Kudos to my husband for treating us to a great tree. I felt like an official grownup....you would think three kids would do that, but mostly they make you feel incapable.
Happy New Year SARAH!

New Life

2006-06-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

Well, God has been busy here at the Haus of H so the blogging has fallen away in the midst of trial. I refer to Romans 5
1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Let's just say that I am at the perserverance stage :)

Lots done

2006-04-16T22:15:00.000-07:00

A trip from my mom for a week earlier this month as my man went to Japan for business. What a treat! We got to plant and landscape and potty train and talk. After she left I realized I never emptied the dishwasher for a whole week! I got my hands deep in the dirt hauling and loading and lifting for hours at a time without interruptions.
One of the challenges of having lots of little kids is that there is never really a chunk of time to accomplish any big projects....unless lots of other things fall apart. It is hard to describe how refreshing good, hard physical work feels to a gal who does alot of maintenance lately. To go above and beyond the daily drugdge and see a bigger project get a dent is amazing. Also, to realize that part of my person is still there, that girl who can get things done with some elbow grease, is a happy reminder.
We took a break to go up to Tulip Festival....a welcome and beautiful break for two dutch girls....

almost four

2006-04-06T08:33:00.000-07:00

Mom, i had a dream with the Sesame street people. Well only two people from Sesame Street....Big Bird and what's that hero guy? "trash gordon" yeah, trash gordon. And we helped Big Bird find his slippers.
Yeah, I had a story in my head! Maybe I could pray to God about dreaming about princesses and He'll make me a dream about princesses?!

Later in the afternoon, while picking a handful of dandelions: "mom, picking flowers makes me really happy!"

Tea Party

2006-03-14T13:24:00.000-08:00

My two year old, Annika, has currently served up my second cup full of "tea" and saucer of raisins. "Here you go mom, here's your tea party!" I can't keep up on the raisins. The sun is streaming through the kitchen nook on to the table, water is dripping off of it and she is pausing to throw a towel on the overflow. "I need some more, its drips!" Back to the towel very intently rubbing the edge of the table. Time for a raisin break, and another cup of tea. THis is the same child who brings me my coffee as a peace offering throughout the day. I get interrupted and run somewhere else in the house and then comes Anni, slowly, concertedly walking with my sometimes steaming hot cup of coffee. Whoops, now the saucers are being poured back in the teapot. It will probably take me about as long to clean up as she is busy with this tea party. Tryn is upstairs, asleep I assume, after asking to go to bed because she was "too tired today." Tristan goes to town in the johnny jumper, propelling himself forward with well placed jumps and swinging back, keeping tabs Annika all the time.
Spring has sprung here, windy and 50 degrees. I want to plant and plant and fill in all the dirt with growing things that are going to look like there was a plan to it all. Ha. Being a novice gardener, I have absolutely no idea where to start so I put twenty northwest gardening books on hold at the library and at least have a rudimentary list of possibilities now that I have looked over a few. Some plants are starting to stick out as "easy to grow" and "likes shade." What makes me crazy is that I can plan the specifics all I want, yet the nursery probably won't have many of the exact plants that I choose. How do other people do this? If I go to the nursery it will take me two hours to get a three plant scheme as I will try to balance shape, color, light, height, etc.
It will just have to be a few trips.

Mornings

2006-03-03T08:11:00.000-08:00

My 31st birthday dinner
Mornings are hard around here. Especially in the last month. There is something about night-nursing at this stage of the game that can leave me feeling like I have a hangover. I'm parched, I gotta pee, and I can't seem to find a diaper that willl contain Tristan; so I end up carrying a soaked baby downstairs, changing him entirely and getting him dressed for the day, and then I'll get a chance to use the toilet. Unless Tryn beats me there first. Then Annika asks to nurse, Tryn asks for breakfast, Annika is pouty when I say I don't have my coffee yet so she can't nurse. Now Tristan generally will play on the living room floor for an hour, which is really great. Soon he will be exploring however and that freaks me out.
None of these things are really difficult. The complication lies in them all occuring at once while I am trying to unkink my stiff old neck and my head is throbbing. Within twenty minutes of my coffee (although sometimes an hour) I generally can face the world.
That is a chunk of my reality. I woke up way early today with a crabby baby, who stopped hollering after a huge poop, which I changed in time to avoid another clothing change. These are my successes. Hollering at my husband, neither a sucess or good choice in reality. Currently, my two daughters are not speaking kindly to one another upstairs, and why they have also woken up an hour early is a mystery to me. Break.
Okay, they have breakfast and an attitude change. Here comes the me-me monster all ready for her morning topper.
So the easiest solution is very obvious, isn't it? Be a morning person.
Ha, no, really.
Get up BEFORE the children if I want my adaption time. Even if it is only a half hour. Or get over myself. Or maybe I could acquire a new neck, one free from rugby injuries and car accidents! Obr just count it all joy when I am up against adverse trials....would James count this in that category?

On turning 31

2006-02-23T16:43:00.000-08:00

It is funny that I write this amidst a day of discouraging feelings but I when contemplating the past year I am certainly thrilled by feeling like I have a grip on who the me is and what to do with her.
The biggest leap this year was getting some pastoral marriage counseling and getting schooled on this whole concept of bitterness. Learning the basics of confessing sin and asking forgiveness has blessed our marriage tremendously and our parenting has certainly been improved. Of course we have lots to work on, but the bridge has been built.
No more shopping indecision. I finally know what colors look best on me thanks to a coloring session with a talented friend. Hallelujah. I can go back to brown and orange with wild abandon! It really was amazing to have all these pieces of colored fabric and a mirror and physically see the difference that the right color made next to my skin. You just perk up and see your eyes instead of the dark circles. Don't need to use half as much foundation and certainly feel better. It also plays out for the hair coloring, I know what isn't going to work.
Since the last baby, my exercising has finally come together for reasons other than purely exterior. Being healthy and having my head clear, as well as blowing off some steam, are really motivating me to keep on moving. Just like the clothing colors, I feel like I have figured out what works and what doesn't in this arena of my life. Next pregnancy there will be no hiatus from exercise.
Organizing for Your Brain Type. The most useful self help book I have read this year. Everyone should read it. Very revelatory and refreshing. I have permission to stack things!
As a quick addition, this week, thanks to friends restringing my guitar, I have remembered how to tune it and play a few chords. The joy it gives me to know that I still have a part of my pre-kid brain that works is Sweet.
Well, today is my day off, thanks to a fabulous husband.
MUST GO!

Flu

2006-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

Well, I have finally caught the dreaded flu from the baby. Let me just say that I completely understand why he wanted to snuggle by me all day. Thankfully, if I move slowly enough I am not nauseous and can keep food down.
If mama aint happy, ain't nobody happy is in my head. Also disturbing, the negative head talk and beration that accompanies laying around and threatens my sleep because most attempts (other than praying) seem to just lead down another remembrance of a real or perceived failure.
But my husband has been home some of the day and I have no idea how I would have functioned without him.
If Annika got over this in 24 hours and Tristan is at 72 hours what prediction for healing is an almost 31 year old to guess at?

PMS

2006-02-13T16:28:00.000-08:00

This was originally a miserable post, but then I did some yoga after dinner and cleared my head enough to perk up.
The sermon on Sunday was about BITTERNESS. Ew, what a sin...and it doesn't get much press. Unconfessed sin pretty much = bitter spirit. (Now, interestingly, bitterness is not something to confess to others as it is discontent with what God gives and should be brought straight to Him.) The spring of bitter waters, however, brings forth malice, evil speaking, and anger. So, if this is what is flowing out of me, then the source can be pretty much traced to a bitter heart. (I think I'll term it the raging waterfall-out). So I have been thinking about my spring. Fresh or Marah? What bitterness do I like to nourish and relish?
Today I followed another bit of sermon advice: when the going gets rough, start singing Psalms. This is not in my comfort zone (I really love griping and groaning!) It is amazing what singing of God's mercies can reveal to a cranky heart.
So onward. My daughter was throwing a huge fit in the car and I overheard her muttering that I needed to move to "Teletubbies land" and then apparently as an alternate "Eygpt." What a trip. She is learning alot about backtalk this week, actually, we both are.

God is Good

2006-02-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

The sun is shining this week in Seattle. After an almost record breaking rain streak in January and a huge windstorm over the weekend the sun is a welcome event. It really is an event here. Everyone is outside and running around and things just seem cheerier and less dilapidated.
My oldest daughter was on the swingset for the longest time yesterday, swinging herself and also with her sister on the double glider thing. Her hair is so long flying behind her each time she pumps back. Her little body is so concentrated with the coordination and yet it looks so smooth and polished. I see that she loves the feeling and enjoys sharing it with her little sister.
We made a little prayer book to help us pray for others. In it are mostly the Christmas pictures we received from friends and family this year. It was an idea from a friend's house and it is so great for us all to visualize who we are praying for. Tryn prayed for our little guy in Africa yesterday: "and God bless Felix and keep him so he doesn't die and help him to sleep through the night and wake up with joy in the morning." Pure joy to hear her pray and also remember the Bible stories we are reading. She felt it a critical bit of information to tell one of our single friends at church, "and Samson kill-ded the Philistines." out of the blue of course, which cracked us up.
I am just so grateful for my life and the blessings God heaps on my head. A loving, super smart, diligent husband, three adorable and spirited kids, a church that proclaims God's truth and justice, a house that is cozy and versatile, an extended family with so much personality, my body responding to all the exercise I have put it through, and then The Little Happy Things (lists of which I have made for the last 10 years but not lately)
new MAC lipstick
chocolate, chocolate, chocolate.
A book called "Organizing for your Brain Type"
Magazine subscriptions
Paying off my college loans this month!
Karen Voight Exercise DVD's
It's my Birthday this Month
Getting ebay stuff listed
IKEA-especially on a rainy day
Annika telling me she has poop and needs to be changed
Singing at lunchtime. Tristan trying to sing with us...too cute
Grocery money at the beginning of the month
Snagging new jeans at Goodwill (j.crew and gap)
Two inches lost off my low waist (those were killer situps)
Friends: all of em
hot Starbucks brewed with a shot of cream
Annika running to me and giving me a huge hug and saying Goodmorning!

Time to go!

A Question

2006-01-25T11:14:00.000-08:00

The vast majority of science validates that breastfeeding keeps babies healthy. So why in the world aren't pediatricians REQUIRED to be lactation certified before they go out into the world? Probably because it would put too many of them out of business. Now, because breastfed babies are so healthy, we need to create reasons to treat them: vitamin D supplements and iron supplements to name a few. PEOPLE: don't forget! Babies are big business and profit is the bottom line whether concious or unconcious.
A good pediatrician with who is IBCLC certified: Dr. Jay Gordon. Also Dr. Robert Minkus, IL. gets props from me.....I wish I could find someone like him here in Washington.

Blog-o-rama

2006-01-23T13:53:00.000-08:00

My daughters are playing pretend. The couch is currently a trolley car. Annika is saying, "We better seep now."
Tryn responds, "it's dark now, we better sleep. Where's our home? We need a place to be very cozy with lots of blankets. We have to get off the trolley so that we can sleep together." she insists. Now Annika climbs up on the chair with Tryn and they are snuggling up together pretending to sleep. Annika just follows Tryn's idea by constantly interjecting, "we gotta seep! we gotta seep"! A minute ago I started following this because they were both laying on the couch and Tryn, with her arm wrapped around Annika, says to her, "sweetie, we are taking a rest right now, okay?" This was after a long series of jumping from the arms of the couch down to the pillows. One reason having a junky couch is a great thing.
Now the story unfolds with whispered shhhs! and surprised running. Tryn is pretending that a baby toy is a lantern shedding light and then pretends to be scared and seeing a monster. "It's a monster?! we better find another place to sleep! Annika yells "we'd better shoot!" and starts bombing. Tryn concurs and joins in. "All the ghost-es, and monsters, and wolves and bears and foxes and bunnies are coming to a meeting of the ghost-es, monsters, and wolves." They start to shoot. Annika says, "a wolf is coming, a wolf is coming" "I Shooting! Shoo, shoo, shoo." Tryn tells her they are already shot. Annika insists that the shooting must continue. Now a chore chart and stickers distracts Tryn. I think it is time for a few more good fairy tales followed by a nap.

Solids

2006-01-23T10:37:00.000-08:00

Tristan is watching me eat and when I put the food in my mouth he is smacking his lips at the same time. Too funny. Normally I have waited alot longer for these ready for solids cues (Tryn at 9 months and Annika at 8 months) and they got teeth around the same time. Now Tristan has this early tooth and I think he will be a seven month starter. Which is the earliest I would ever begin period. The intestine is like a leaky hose to let in huge immunoglobin proteins until the baby starts making them around the sixth month and is pretty much sealed up by the seventh month of life according to what I have read. After policies on starting at the AAP is saying no solids till the sixth month period, intstead of the 4-6 window that was the trend for however long. Inevitably research will demonstrate the less solids in the first year the better. Why folks get so hung up on inferior calorie sources to feed their babies is a mystery to me. Give'em the gold I say!

Four am

2006-01-23T04:29:00.000-08:00

CANT SLEEP. My mind is just racing. Two factors, a hard crisis at our church with adultery and a big discussion about birthing with the couple I am doula-ing for and all that replaying in my head. So I prayed about everything that God brought to my mind and then had to get up for a bowl of cereal.
So much that I want to do and so little that gets accomplished. I am again reminded to turn off the tv as an evening default. God is good. My heart is recognizing the bitterness that has snuck in about the job he has given me.
As I sort out the feelings that occur while watching these two people at church fall hard in sin, I am so reminded of God's grace in keeping me where I am and how big sin starts with lots of small, seemingly insignificant choices. But by the grace of God go I. It is disconcerting to hear and my heart aches for the families involved. I am hopeful that God has given none of us anything more than we can bear, and it will all work out for His good....which is ours. There is a certain blessing at seeing our church handle this with the mark of a true church and taking discipline steps and not turning a blind eye. That gives me heart.
The pillow finally calls.

Happy Dutch Girl

2006-01-21T17:24:00.000-08:00

First haircut in five months and it is super cool. Retro Fringe bangs (which helps until the new post baby hair fills in) The best part is I went to the local Aveda school and it only cost 12 bucks. Granted, it took two and a half hours, but well worth the time. I mean: Twelve Bucks! It has been twenty years since I spent that little on a haircut.
Saturday again, a up and down week. Tristan cut his first tooth (or I found it on Thursday) and everything made sense after that.

No Starting Gate

2006-01-17T11:09:00.000-08:00

I have to write this with the caveat that I have hardly been anywhere in a week and we are on like day 27 of rain here in the Pacific Northwest.
Here we are on another learning curve and the uphill seems to never end. I am to the point in parenting where I realize this is the just the way it is. Always uphill and never static. Maybe it is just the gray drear, but I really want to quit. Getting up in the morning seems overwhelming. I feed the kids and then drink coffee and diddle on the computer until I wake up or someone starts freaking out. Awfully pathetic. I am completely unmotivated to even try. Mostly I just clean up the house so that I can stay here and not be more mental until the there is money back in the envelopes next month. There is no project time. Five minutes here and there, then four hours cumulative wasted time on the internet. I should be reading to the kids two hours a day and I am lucky if it is 15 minutes. They should get fresh air, but that would depend on my getting out of my pajamas before naptime. When I do get a chance to actually clear my head and go out it is late and my verve is gone. Every time I turn around I hit an obstacle and it makes me really frustrated and angry and volatile. So I clean up or try to work out. I just got back from vacation so a break isn't the solution.
I DON"T WANT THIS JOB ANYMORE.
how about a warm sunny beach and no one requiring anything from me for a week?
Time to eat more cookie dough!
Now that's reality, folks.

Today

2006-01-14T10:10:00.000-08:00

Kate called me to tell me that she just got married. Now she is going to have lunch and cruise around today.

My Annika turned two. Her present probably will not get here in the mail today.

It is really gray and rainy.

Tristan is sitting up and reaching into the basket and yelping because he can't reach something.

Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" is accurately harmonizing with my mood.

I am really glad that tommorow I go to God's house for rest and worship.

Two Talk

2006-01-13T08:04:00.000-08:00

Annika will have her two year old birthday tommorow.
Seen and Heard:
"I making a rainbow"
"But I Love you, Trynee!" arms thrown up in abandon, in response to Tryn waking up crabby
"Get off my butt!"
"Here you go mom."
"okay mapa." Mapa seems to be the occasionaly catch all for mama or papa.
"Good job, gramma."
"Shush, Tristan, Shush. SHUSH! no crying"
"Will you forgive me?"
"I want a gokdog, no bagel. A gokdog." (as I am searching for lunch in the fridge. And no hotdogs.)
"Trynee, its nough! nothing in kitchen."
"Mama, I stuck in the middle" "Can you help me?"
"Will you snuggle me?" arises the plantive bleat from her bed
Singing:
Angels We Have Heard on High. all four verses, with "Shep-erds why dis jooobelee" being the favorite.
Oh Twas a Joyful Sound to Hear
Glori Apatri
Old Mcdonald
Patty Cake
Did ya Ever Go to Meetin
She is loving her dollies and nurses them, changes them, spanks them and gives them lots of rides the stroller.
She is, I am noticing, an observer. Without Tryn when other kids are around she is much more hesitant, watchful. She especially likes to watch other parents and see if she can engage them, which is so very odd to me. She uses her charm moves and they melt. She is also the very physically needy for love one, (just like her mother) which simply means lots and lots of holding, hugging, practicing sitting still on a lap. Tryn is more aware of words and responds to encouragement more, although when I told her that she gives good strong hugs I have gotten alot more!
I fear this time moving by so quickly and yet I am so stinkin tired most of the time. Writing it down is, I believe, my only recourse.

Refreshed

2006-01-11T15:01:00.000-08:00

AAhhhh. Hello January 11. How are you?
The past three weeks a huge vacation break back in the midwest. For all the nuttiness I like about Northwesterners I really appreciate a breather with the more wholesome Midwesterners. Simple, solid, not as much fuss or muss.
There was no lack of drama being that my little sister is pregnant by her boyfriend of nine months. They are getting married this weekend. Yep, that's one week after our trip An instance where procrastination really frustrates me because she has had alot of time to get this figured out. The encouragement that my other sister and I gave was probably a bit late (another instance of procrastination) and while I had peace afterwards initially, the fact that it seemed to make little to no difference to her is nagging at me. I start to get irked instead of remembering God's providence. My sister will take the last name Kelso. It really suits her better, she has some ditzy commonality with that 70's show character.
bother.
I am back in the saddle again, laundering, ordering, cooking, making lists and figuring out where to put all the great gifts. Two weeks of freedom are such a blessing to renew the perspective and spirit. I just enjoy my children more after a break from the mundane. Having more of a observers work and less of primary caregiver certainly helps my appreciation level both for what I do and who they are.
This sums up how I am feeling:

there will be time
There is time still
for sitting in cafes
in Paris
sipping wine.
Time still
for going to meet
the guru.
There is time still.
Now I am caring for eternity.
Carrying bodies soft with sleep
to beds of flowered
quilts and pillows.
Answering cries deep out of
nighttime fears.
Buckling shoes.
Opening doors.
Pretending.
My soul now is dwelling in
the house of tommorow.
Tommorow there will be time
for long leisurely conversations,
for poems to write,
and dances to perform.
Time still.
So I surrender now,
to them and this,
knowing it is they
who will teach me
how to do it all.
Peggy O'Mara

From the 2006 Calendar from Mothering Magazine

Kiddos

2005-12-23T09:51:00.000-08:00

Tristan is rolling every which way on the rug. Front to back, back to front, he's got it. He got the back to front last week. Now he is working on grabbbing his ankles while on his back, a feat not appreciated when practices in his sleep because then I am usually getting kicked. Last night at our Lessons and Carols service he sat by Heidi and was such a darling baby. Only peep he made was the gulp of astonishment whenever he saw something interesting.
My little Tryn tells me that she will grow up to be a bigger girl. Also, there is only ONE girl in this family and TWO babies, right mama. Thats a statement, not a question. Sometimes you just hug 'em to hope that their cells can't divide for at least a minute. I told Tristan he can just stay like this for awhile for me. Annika is learning that screaming, "NO!" scream, scream, etc. is not an availible response to mama's instructions. Last night she kept trying to saying the God part of the liturgical response, "thanks be to God" but it always ended up after everyone else. I turned my head to grab the diaper bag and she was off. I couldn't find her and some friends helped....she turned up in the men's bathroom. She sees me and says, "diaper change" like "where were you mom?"
OH, vacation is almost here. I can't wait for the break. 16 days back home. Aunties and a Grammy and Grampy to hold babies and entertain. Maybe I'll even get to see Narnia! Even better, I'll get to see my husband again!

Despairing

2005-12-21T13:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, so we managed to get to the merry go round only because my dear husband was very patient while I tried moving my despairing self. I have tried to blame my attitude on Christmas burnout, a sore back, family frustration, my perceptions of whether my husband was listening or not.
Today God has granted me a look at my own self pity and inert worrying. Despair. I am despairing because I am looking to myself to handle hard situations, or those that don't go my way (the best way, of course) instead of falling at the throne of grace and trying not to land on that plank in my eye.
Now if we can only get to noticing that habit before the house falls down around and I am in full out sniping contentious stubborn pitful woman!

A Few More Pictures

2005-12-20T23:07:00.000-08:00

Butteryfly My three chitlins

The first picture is of the sisters watching sesame street....they were sitting together in the rocking chair when I found them. Too cute.

Is it Christmas Yet?

2005-12-20T22:43:00.000-08:00

As we walked past the downtown Santa hut at Nordstroms, I had to say, "Jesus doesn't make you wait in line." Stefan noted that there were no pictures, though. Note, a middle aged woman and her three almost grown sons with finely tuned sweaters were cheesing for their I can only suppose annual shot.
We did do the merry go round and the girls were so excited. As not really illustrated in this picture.
I finally figured out how to post a picture though!

Blog Blog

2005-12-11T19:55:00.000-08:00

Hearing of various sibling trials and troubles, I start to wonder how we had the same parents. I have two sisters and three brothers, all younger. Without a doubt I asked for and got most of the spankings and phew, I am glad for that! (I wish I had more!)
My mom said it is harder for her to have adult children, a big pit in her stomach now. I kinda remember when my parents burned out on parenting...it was about the same time they both started smoking again, sometime while I was in college. Almost ten years now they have copped out on their duties, claiming they can't say much to their 'adult' children. (Yet my mom has no trouble telling me where to to go, go figure...she knows that I will take it.)
So I see my sister just not having any principled Biblical thinking, no moral compass for her decision making, and I just gotta wonder what happened?! It boggles my mind that she is such a humanist. We sat at the same breakfast, lunch, and dinner table. We did and went pretty much everywhere together (until I went to 'real' school my senior year) How can we think so differently?
I have these two little girls, with such individuality and yet so similar and close. The long haul of mothering them has been made real to me as of late. I am only three years in to this gig. What are the critical elements in parenting children who grow up believers as opposed to a mixed or simply pagan bag? I am a firm believer in election, so it is God knows and works and saves....it won't be me "leading" my kids to Christ and just hoping. I know God promises me that he saves in generations. My heart sees Tryn already understanding that she needs Jesus. I am seeing that it's the day to day, that is where the rubber hits the road. The struggle to remain humbly submitting to God in diligence and prayer and faith, continuing to strive to give God the glory and not turn that subtly into a me thing too. God knows who He is, he does not need us to give Him glory. We are priveleged to have good works to walk in that he already knows about.
So, the burnout really scares me. Complicating this thought has been the observation of a few 50ish ladies lately harangued by guilt, weary from everything, and feeling that their brains are failing them. This is not a place of peace! Their fading graying heads seem defeated, uncertain and full of unnatural highlights. What sets apart the women who know themselves and those who are still trying to figure it out at 50? This I ponder. I have been reading a book called Captivating by Stasi Eldredge. It is the most practical book I have ever read on why we women are so screwed up and what heals us. The premise is that women ask one central question about themselves, "am I beautiful?" We try to find the answer to that question from our fathers, boyfriends, husbands. It isn't about outer beauty exclusively; we ask if who we are is lovely. The easy and complicated answer is that God has created each of us a uniquely beautiful reflection of His beauty....the only place to get a consistent answer to our question is Jesus. We tend to fluctuate between despairing and addicting ourselves to pick me ups. More later.

Running Away

2005-12-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

Annika is getting surprised by my consistency this week. She was disobedient and I went to pick her up, so she turned tail and took off, heading aroung the table, saying "running away, running away!" as if speeding up her words would will her pumping arms and legs faster.
How is life. Well, a two day trip to Iowa for a funeral of Great Grampa this week was certainly difficult. The traveling was smooth, but relationships with in-laws are just bumpy. We were inundated with midwestern food (a blessing and a curse) Can you say tater tot casserole? Jello salads? Folgers with no cream? Ham buns, buttered, with american cheese? Lasagna made with cottage cheese? Taverns (sloppy joes) too. The casseroles (or hot dishes) reigned supreme and it was good comfort food, albeit kinda funny. We had cheesy hash brown casserole souped up with jalapenos, a new and improved twist. In many ways, it was like being at my dutch grammas' house for a family dinner. Minus the corned beef buns.
Tristan is trying out all manner of new sounds, cooing and charming anyone who holds him. He was a champion of good naturedness until we got home. Annika was busy smiling at everyone she could, making friends as we walked down the narrow aisles of the airplanes. We're trying to haul all this crap to our seats and she is busy taking in all the people and waving to them! Tryn was happy with a Dora coloring book the whole time....a switch from having to entertain her.
So Christmas minutae is still awaiting completion and the crunch comes.

Thanksgiving Lasagna

2005-11-24T14:26:00.000-08:00

Yep, that's what we're having. I am hauling out a pan I froze last month and decking it up with garlic ciabatta, green beans and salad. Dessert will be molten lava baby cakes with Nigella Lawson's decadent recipe and ice cream. The girls won't eat the cakes, which works out great for Stefan and I: zap em in the microwave Saturday!
My mother was really dissappointed that I was not making a turkey etc. for my family. I hadn't really thought about it. With the little ones the time off seemed better spent making Christmas presents and relaxing....not that we aren't eating well. I haven't figured out how to match the deep fried turkey with the stuffing and gravy from my childhood so until I have solved that dilemma I won't be making turkey.
The girls went in the Burley and their papa hauled them to the park on his bike. Now his boss just called and he dissappeared into his office. I hope that doesn't mean work for him today! He wants to get making the play stands (from waldorf) for the girls.
Tristan has had another growth spurt and he is all about reaching out and touching, especially faces. He is such a darling baby. Now if he would outgrow this spitting up all the time. It is hard to keep him smelling sweet!
I want to be sewing the moses baskets for the girls' dollies, however Tryn is saddled with me until her dad gets off the phone. Oh, wait, he has to do some work. :(
On a happy note, I am in my skinny jeans. YEEHAW! I feel like the extra working out effort has paid off, since this has never happened so quickly. I am especially thrilled because I have been eating like a pig, even caving in to my ravenous chocolate lust and desire for peanut butter. I do work out at least two times a week (which is a new level of diligence) and so that is a milestone. The challenge then is to not spend the holidays thinking I can eat more! I would like the remaining tire of flab around my waist to shrink down before Christmas and the visit home. Did I mention that nursing Annika twice a day seems to have benefits for me as well?!

Gear

2005-11-17T17:03:00.000-08:00

My sutemi pack is swell. It is long enough that it actally sits on my waist. Getting the hang of the front and hip carry positions and easy on and off is a bonus! Tristan loves it. What a nice option since he is about 20 lbs and mostly dead weight....the ultimate baby wrap just doesn't cut it when he is so heavy. (or that I broke one of the rings). Something quick for an in and out at stores is quite useful so that Annika stays in the cart. I also figure using it around the house helps me get stronger and lose weight.
Tonight off to church for a lecture from a member, a history professor at UW, on the origins of Thanksgiving.
I should go and get busy getting interrupted.

Well, Colleen

2005-11-17T16:46:00.000-08:00

Here goes. Thwarted for a week, I will attempt to post.
Life is busy. Excuse me, a plea to wipe a butt arises from the bathroom.

Mission accomplished.
Interruptions are the work of my day. If I looked at the interruptions as such, I think I would be more amenable to them. So often I see what I am doing as the critical need (and yes, making dinner is truly critical) but it is what I often have to stop to do that is more impotant in the greater scheme.
Common interruptions:
Breaking up fights
Disciplining
Feeding (like eating lunch and having our Bible storytime) (or just snacks)
Drinks of water
Changing diapers for two, wiping the butt for one
Breastfeeding
Answering questions
Giving directions
Explaining
Picking up a fussy baby
Finding Annika. She likes to dissappear mysteriously when getting into trouble
Reading
Listening
Kissing owies
Teaching how to help

Tryna

2005-11-08T16:57:00.000-08:00

Today as Annika addresses her sister it is "Tryna, Tryna, Tryna." It is funny since she has always called her Trynee or just Tryn. "Mama, E miled at me!" after handing something about Tristan or "wook, mama, wook" while showing me what she built. I love baby talk made into sentences. Lately she has also picked up bossing her sister around, "Tryna, shush, be shush" or "NO! Trynee, NO TANK YOU!" The announcement now comes also from the backseat of the car, "mama, I have a question." I ask what the question is and she smiles, says "um...that whud a pace" while pointing out the window. I think what they mean is can I have your attention? because we always get the declarative sentences.
On another note, I think I am quitting yoga due to the hoop jumping to get childcare. I can only call the babysitting area the day before the class to get a spot, and for three weeks I have either forgotten or called too late. Forget it!
It feels like a conspiracy against non-members. I hate that crap.
Less television and more reading occured this past week. Stefan has too much to do and nowhere near enough time to get it all done especially since the Christmas sales push is on. He wrote a paper last night and blasted that off, which always amazes me. (I hate writing papers).
My head is buzzing with all the things I could be doing, so I sit down at the computer and vegetate. Great solution.
I ordered a sutemi pack
to carry Tristan in. He is too big for the baby wrap already. I look forward to trying this one since it comes in a tall version and I am 5'10".
Wow. I am brain dead and unfocused. A great deal of the day has been spent breaking up fighting between sisters.
Homeschooling is going to change my whole life. Again.

sidenote

2005-11-05T16:27:00.000-08:00

Stefan for Christmas Note:
Bookcases Niall Barrett
Taunton press 1999
Fine Woodworking Magazine

Exhaustion

2005-11-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

Go figure, a post later I am fried.
Today we made it out of the house to a kid friendly joint, My Coffeehouse. Train table, magnetic board, kid kitchen, etc....and a lot of moms taking kids aside to explain the benefits and necessities of sharing. I finally met up with Susan and her three little ones. I can't remember most of what we talked about. I am truly exhausted.
But home again and a three year old meltdown en route and upon hearing that it was naptime. To be fair, I switched gears on her, but throwing yourself on the ground sobbing at the mere beginning of instructions is not going to improve without rest.
The plea pitifully arose as I laid her down on the bed, "please, mama, can you wait to make the bread til I wake up?" sweet kid. she really wanted to wear her new apron.
well the pizza is at the door!

Too Much Caffeine

2005-11-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

So, drinking coffee after five-not a good idea. Wired and sick from some joe-sipping at the homeschool jamboree. The other ladies brought all their resources and I just sat back and listened. I try not to feel too behind by remembering they all have kids a year to two older than mine. Being the least experienced, I was the prime beneficiary. (I did show one overdue mom the acupressure point on her ankle and she had a strong contraction that convicted her it wasn't hogwash.)
The conviction that I watch too much TV is growing, due to some divinely placed cues. For one, a interesting discussion about television via St. Anne's Public House landed in my backpack after church. Secondly, the time I have is short, and mind numbing crap is certainly not helping me get the pile of books cracked open. Thirdly, I feel plain dumb as of late when talking with contemporaries that actually read. My vocabulary seems riddled with 'awesome', 'cool' 'sweet' and yes, my favorite: 'dude'......
How is the week? Well, I have been reading fairy tales with the girls. In the original version of Snow White the wicked queen dances in red hot iron shoes until she dies! Man, do I feel gypped by Disney. Nothing compares to the original brothers Grimm. Why "translate" a new, weaker version? Basically to make it more pc....and you all can guess how I feel about that. Tryn really loves goldilocks and snow white. Having longer, more beautiful books makes trying to hit the two hour mark of reading more enjoyable for mom. If you are going to read, get books that you both enjoy.
Last night was spent tidying and watching the Amazing Race. (back to tv) Television itself would make you think that there is only one culture and if you don't get the references in itself to itself that you are somehow deficient in knowledge...which only illustrates how useless the knowledge truly is. I like the comparision Joost Nixon makes between tv and movies in the above link. Hey, copies are free. You may just start thinking.

Tristanator

2005-10-27T15:14:00.001-07:00

In the annals of Mr. T this week:

good aim and reaching, opening hands to grab
he is sooooo fat!
bonus oilily shirt found at the used clothes store, orange and lime...YEY
gets all perky when he hears his dad's voice
loves to dance with his sisters...giddy last night
tries to initiate conversation with the girls and get their attention
loves to watch my hand. My hand, the mobile.
kicks, ooooohs, throws out arms, and shakes with sheer delight when mesmerized (i.e.like my hand)
No rolling over yet. too fat?! I am really trying to get him more tummy time
I really should post a picture, but I never am at that computer!

Annika Antics

2005-10-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well, the little stinker did it again. I'm cleaning up dinner, Tryn and her dad went to choir practice, Annika was just in the kitchen not five minutes ago. I hear the wail from the bathroom (that no messing around kind) and see the blood dripping as I pull her up off the floor. As near as I could tell she had decided to try and brush her teeth...climbed up on the toilet and leaned over the porcelein sink.....her feet slipped and she knocked her mouth on the sink edge as she plonked down. When in doubt, grab the cold washcloth. So we dabbed and she hollered and I could see that her teeth were all there. As she stuck out her tongue I glimpsed the offense and it was bit clean through at the tip! (I never got lightheaded as a nurse, but when it is my own kid I seem to get weak at the knees) Instead of wigging out I just took it easy and kept the rinsing out the washcloth and comforting and thinking about what to do. No answer from Stefan's phone, so called my mom and she had to laugh (and be concerned) and told me to just keep it cold. I figured I couldn't do anything until he was back with the car so we sat down together and I stuck an icecube in the washcloth and she liked that. That and a few doses of arnica 30x seemed to help. Although next time I should use Aconite, I think. Mouths heal fast, you know.
When it came time to nurse her brother, she had to sit in my lap at the same time....so I knew that she was still a little shook up and ouchy. She ate a frozen yogurt tube without trouble, so I knew no extra attention was needed. I put her to bed with a story. She slept for 12 hours. She ate Malt o Meal with relish this morning.
She will be the death of me.
But I did get help with the dishes clean up when Stefan got home :)

New Thoughts

2005-10-26T08:19:00.000-07:00

Calvin says in the first chapter of the Golden Booklet of the True Christian Life:

Scripture is the rule of life
Holiness is the key principle
Holiness means full obedience to Christ
External Christianity is not enough
Spiritual progress is necessary

And Christ says, "Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tihe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weighterier matters of the law: Justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel! Woe to you, scribes and Parisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleaness. Matt 23: 23-27

You shall therefore be holy, for I am holy. Leviticus 12:45b

LORD, who may abide in Your tabernacle?
Who may dwell in your holy hill? He who walks uprightly,
And works righteousness,
And speaks the truth in his heart;
Psalm 15:1-2

For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness, righteousness, and truth, finding out what is acceptable to the Lord. Eph 5:8-10

For why were we delivered from the quagmire of iniquity and pollution of this world, if we want to wallow in it as long as we live? Calvin

Just my reviewing what we studied last night at our Ladies Fellowship

2005-10-23T11:38:00.000-07:00

Fell off the blog wagon due to illness and a visit from my parents. We got a cold bug, went to Idaho, and came back with the flu. We had a nice first birthday for my niece, Evangeline. Unfortunately, her mom got the flu after we all ate the delicious dinner she made. It did afford the opportunity to try oscicillium (sp?), a homeopathic that helps decrease flu symptoms. I took it a few times when I felt symptoms and made it through the week without puking. I have to say I have felt nauseous all week though. (Pregnant?) (Colleen is laughing). That brings me to my other ailment, aching teeth and sore jaw, due to my moronic coasting dentist who even after a return trip has been unable to diagnose or treat my pain. Take advil is his sage advice. I haven't been chewing my food very well, maybe that is why I am nauseous?
A few needs to record:

"I anni-gator" (a) (her nickname from grampy)
Mama, my body is throwing out the food (t)
I stuck in da middle (a)
You have a mole! (annika touching grammy's face)
Tristan loves to watch my hands
Tristan has his hands in his mouth all the time, knocks/spits out his pipe
to-ally dee ite ful (grampy taught anni totally delightful, which she told Nancy)

Nope

2005-10-11T21:46:00.000-07:00

Although initially promising, the bread did not rise any higher on the second attempt. The mixing/kneading went better, I think I should have pushed it further. The inital rise was good, yet after shaping it took a little longer than I wanted for the rise. Anyway, I think I will ditch the recipe. No, I will photocopy it and probably try again another month.
Tristan is 19 lbs (we scavenged a sweet vintage scale from a free pile). Mind you, he is only 14 weeks old. Everyone except me has a nasty cold and I am just hoping I get it before we leave town on Friday.
Tryn writes the letter T, but yesterday she wrote letters to all the g-rents and wanted the first letters for all their names written on them. We did an E together, and I pointed out how it looked like an F. Well, she requested to do the next F herself and it was perfectly legible! pretty cool to watch. I'm really glad that she tried another letter because all T's all the time can be Tedious. :)

Bun in the oven

2005-10-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

No, not pregnant, just baking. Earlier this week I baked Oatmeal Loaf from Hamelmans book: Bread....the rise was mediocre, probably because I didn't follow the directions closely (duh). Plus I get sick of waiting for it to double, thinking something must be wrong. Since the house is about 60 degrees this morning, I warmed the oven up a sec and then stuck the bread in there with the door ajar. Hopefully that will keep the rise clipping along. It was a delicious bread with great crumb and crust so I really wanted to try it again and see if I could get it higher.
It's funny, I haven't baked bread for months (except pizza dough) and I have a huge surplus of flour. Paying for bread seems sick and wrong. Especially when you have a Kitchenaid to do the mixing.

A prize

2005-10-08T20:23:00.000-07:00

Saturdays have changed for the family. We are definitely doing alot more errand running and fewer big adventures. Although our errands today actually did qualify for kid adventures. Seattle has a excellent store called Second Use....a warehouse of old doors, tubs, windows, knobs, and whatever else is salvaged from buildings that are going to be torn down or remodeled. Today was their 10th anniversary Fall Festival. (My cool husband is always on top of those fun things to do, where as I seem to forget or never get around to getting to them) Well, today was sweet because we had free lunch and balloons, a duckie chuck, a guess how many screws in the jar contest. A guy was in the middle of the warehouse playing an instrument with a bow that he had created....it was the size of a cello with a circle at the bottom and piano strings all around a intricately welded center piece. The girls were quite entranced and the music was kinda haunting and sweet.
Stefan got to shop at his "craft store" and we all got to wander around and eat chocolate chip cookies (free, of course).
Later it was on to Albertsons for the grocery game. I work hard to save at least 50% off my grocery bill and wait for the cashier to announce how much I saved this week. It is strangely satisfying....even more so when the cashier says something like, "wow" or nods in admiration. This week it was spent $80, saved $58 off the regular prices. Seattle has a high cost of living, most sales equal the price I was used to spending in Chicagoland. Got to stretch that grocery money!
The children are growing. Tryn is back to wolfing down her lunch and asking for more. Annika is putting on the chub, a precursor to a growth spurt. Tristan was bigger than a 9 month old at the store today. Did I mention that he is affectionately called Piglet?
It was a week of much calling out for grace. God was good in giving a thirst for Him and many could've gone really bads were just "Help, Lord!s" Having a quiet and gentle spirit was on my mind....what does that mean and look like? I feel like I am yelling and too rough! (I also battle with being klutzy)
Stefan got his promotion! That is just huge. I wasn't surprised because he really excels in his work, but it was so satisfying to see him rewarded for that. We find out how much the raise is next week. YeeHaw! Best beware to not take that for granted.
Well, Second Use called me tonight. I won the guessing contest. I guessed 850 screws and there were 907 who knew I could estimate screws? The prize is a twenty-five dollar credit for future purchase. SUPER COOL!

Belly Aching

2005-10-04T22:42:00.000-07:00

Little Tristan just won't sleep. Growth spurt? Gas? All I know is that all day he konks out soundly only to startle awake 20 minutes later, hungry and fussy. Mama ate sushi last night, so that may be the culprit.
Today was a day. I have a bazillion things to do and instead I get into a overhaul of the living room including washing the floor and reaarranging the furniture. Hmmm. Man, this monotony of trying to get what needs to be done in order to do what I want is just discouraging lately.
We talked about the tenth plague on Eygpt at lunch. Tryn was not so happy about the dying. She does not want to die. She wants to be a "growing up girl". I don't doubt there will be a further discussion tommorow when the Red Sea drowns Pharoah and all his men.
On a radically different tangent: I am starving. All day I am just hungry. I just ate a bowl of Cap'n Crunch an hour ago and the stomach is growling. Ugh, how can I lose weight if I am ravenous! Maybe that just means I am losing weight. So I will eat more. But then I won't lose any weight. Round and Rounder we grow.
Just read "The Doomsday Book" by Connie Wilkins. A very long time travel book where the main character, Kivrin, ends up in 1348 when the plague hits England. It was descriptive to the point of monotony, but certainly carried the point home that we live in easy times. Today I am just thankful that I can clean Annika's scraped leg and understand infectious agents and what to do to treat her. Neosporin rocks. As a nurse, I just take all what I learned for granted. Reminds me to respect modern medicine a little more, because I certainly like the homeopathics, but I am blessed to have antibiotic backups.

Stirred Up

2005-09-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

Just got back from Ladies Fellowship at church. The book for the year is The Golden Booklet of the True Christian Life by John Calvin. Calvin, that old dude from the 1500's? ABSOLUTELY! RAH! I say YEAH, we are reading the MAN. I didn't remember that he was a uber-Catholic until he was converted to Christ via Protestantism. What is also mind boggling is that he wrote the three volume Institutes by the time he was 26. I am obviously looking forward to going through this book again (after reading it in college). John Calvin has the best smack down of any and all excuses for sin. I appreciate that kind of cut to the chase.

Monday, Monday

2005-09-26T08:39:00.000-07:00

Did I mention that Stefan and I watched another 8 episodes of Arrested Development? Too Funny.
This week:
Make it to payday with current groceries.
Bake Bread and Brownies
Revise Weekly Planners
Read "the Doomsday Book" for sci-fi
get Tristan a sweater, few warm things
Yoga class and exercise...
Visit midwives office to see if they know any good C.N.M's

Stretching

2005-09-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

After a month of catch up, I caught up. Whoa, a tidy house on a Saturday? Everything I need to make a dinner for Sunday? Anyway, we invited a couple from church over on the fly (I distinctly felt a nudge from above) and were blessed, of course, by the company. The fellowship of those is sweet. I prefer not to leave my comfort zone but the more I do, the easier it gets. I even talked and cooked at the same time. We missed going to worship last week from that nasty cold, and it was so good for our souls to get there today and then have fellowship with other believers. I can really feel it through the week when we miss church.
The couple we had over are newly pregnant and considering midwifery care! Yey, so I had an opportunity to talk about my favorite topic - birthing babies and hopefully they walked away encouraged. Just so glad God brought us together today.h

Arrested Development

2005-09-24T08:56:00.000-07:00

My sister Melissa recommended that I rent the first season of Arrested Development because I would laugh till I was sick. She was absolutely correct. The first six episodes are puking funny. When my husband watched them with me (I had to share and watch again) I laughed even more, catching all the innuendos I missed the first time. (I was sorting out the clothes boxes and doing laundry the first time around...a worthy task). I can't nail why it is so great; it just is true to itself and all its insanity to the littlest detail. I am going to rent the next six episodes today.

a moment to rant:
Hollywood video is decreasing the MVP videos and increasing prices! bah!
McDonalds has screwed up my drive-thru order at a 50% rate lately
Gas Prices...2.87 in Seattle
The Gap having everything on sale in the Wrong size

okay, that's all for this quiet Saturday morning

Doodiilly Doo

2005-09-21T15:15:00.000-07:00

Tryn is blossoming with 'tabletime'. Today she made "an aqua blue color" with fingerpaints and asked me what I thought of it. I bought her a pair of kid scissors and she sat and cut newspaper for a half an hour! Now we have moved to making funny faces with a magnet kit...."that's a silly face I mix-ded" Sometime during the past few months she learned to focus on a task for longer than five minutes. It is a relief to have her busy and not tailing me asking to watch movies. Such a simple solution.
Thinking clearly is elusive. It take a gallon of caffiene, plenty of protein, and a tidy main floor for my mind to open up and get cogent. (obviously those requirements have been met today) I am dog tired as of late....Tristan is waking up about four times a night and I am not getting to bed early enough. I mistake spaceyness for being incapable and forget that I need more sleep, not better skills. I think I will go sack out on the couch right now, in fact!